Hey everybody, welcome to #MomentumMonday! Today’s episode is called letting go to move forward and explores how to create space for new beginnings by letting go.
You can’t become the person you want to be when you are holding onto everything that comes through your life. I call this mental hoarding.
Four years ago, I was sitting at my desk, analyzing my life, and I felt stuck. I felt stuck in my mindset, stuck in my relationship, stuck in my business and stuck in my ability to influence people in my business. It was the only time in my life where I remember almost feeling sorry for myself. Which caused me to have a real meeting with myself, where I made a list of all the things in my life that I thought were holding me back, both mentally and physically. All the things, thoughts, people, habits, patterns and the clutter in my life. All of it. Luckily, I had some mentors around me to help me see this stuff because I wasn’t able to see it or fix it on my own.
The challenge isn’t ‘getting stuck’; we all get stuck. The challenge is putting yourself and your ego aside so you can gain the awareness you need to realize that things have to change.
Today’s post is inspired by a breakthrough that I had in my life, where I honestly changed the trajectory of where my life was headed.
In this post, Letting Go to Move Forward: How to create space for new beginnings I am going to give you six ideas that you will need to let go of immediately and it will have an immediate impact on you in a positive way. Now, all six are not going to apply to you, but I bet one will hit you hard. As you’re going through this post, think of all the people in your life who might need to hear this, and share this post with them. If anyone can figure out how to get unstuck, the game will change.
Here are the six things that you probably need to let go of or change so you can move forward.
Six Things to Let Go so You Can Move Forward
1. Your Old Identity.
Let go of your old identity. The identity of your former career or your old relationship or who you used to be. Have you ever noticed that most people always talk about the past and the ‘good old days’? They focus on who they used to be at a time when they were younger, wealthier, happier, more athletic, or winning more championships. However, who you used to be has nothing to do with where you are going. Let go of it. The only person that cares who you used to be is you, and I am not sure why you still care.
That might sound direct, and that might sound harsh, but I’m sure there are some good things you can take from it. For instance, there are good things I can take from being a cook at a restaurant for nine years. I learned how to work hard. There are also some good things I can take from University when I was a student. I learned how to study and how to cram for exams. I also learned things from being a 20-year-old and the mistakes I made. But none of those things define me, so I don’t let that stuff stick to me.
2. A Relationship or a Friend.
Get rid of the relationships and people who don’t align with your goals or standards. Some of you guys reading this blog need to get rid of a relationship or a friend in your life. Luckily every few years, we have the opportunity to change one of the top four or five people that we hang around the most. We have that opportunity, are you taking it? Are you upgrading your associations? Are your standards and goals aligned with the people that you’re hanging around with?
I understand that not all the goals of the people that I hang around are aligned with my goals. But, for the most part, the standards we set in our lives for ourselves and our families are aligned. See I don’t care who you are to me, I don’t care if you’re a colleague, friend or even a family member if your values don’t align with mine at some level we probably don’t see each other a lot, but on the flip side if our values do align and we are close we’re going to hang out a lot.
It’s time to let go of your grudges. If you think that by holding on to a grudge you are punishing the other person and teaching them a lesson, you’re wrong. When you hold a grudge, you’re only punishing yourself as you keep replaying that story in your mind about how this person hurt you, it is time to tell yourself a new story.
If you’re hanging onto something that somebody said eight months ago, get over it. Let it go. You’re killing yourself. Rather than teaching the other person a lesson, you are staying stuck and to get unstuck; you need to let go of the grudge.
4. One Non-Serving Thought Pattern.
Try to let go of just one non-serving thought pattern about yourself. We all have thought patterns that don’t serve us; we tell ourselves that we are skinny or slow or clumsy or awkward or overweight. These are all just characteristics that don’t need to define who we are. These things that we tell ourselves over and over again for 20 years are so subtle, but because we are telling ourselves this over 15 -20 year period we start to believe it, and it creates who we are.
These thoughts build our future because what we think about and how we see ourselves as is who we eventually become.
5. Physical Clutter.
It’s called hoarding. You need to let go of things that you’ve accumulated so that you can make space for new things. It might be a book, notebook, award, clothes, or desk drawer clutter. It’s time to let go. I like to hold onto things, that’s just who I am.
Let’s look at books, for example. How many books do you have on your bookshelves? Let me ask you a question that I asked myself. How many books have you gone back and read five or six times? I can count that number on my hand. Why because when I read a book, I will take one thing from it, and then I will move on to the next book. We should thank the book for that one thing and then give it away to create space. This idea of minimalism is fundamental when it comes to letting go so we can move forward. It’s about prioritizing and getting rid of things to bring in new things.
6. The idea that we CAN’T change.
The last point that I want you to focus on is getting rid of this idea that you can’t change. When did that all of a sudden become a dominating thought pattern? That once we become 25, 30, 35 or even 65 years old we can’t change because we are who we are.
Focus on the person that you want to be, and fill your brain with images and thoughts of people that have made these changes before you. By doing this, you create examples in your mind of people that have changed. When you’re continually repeating those pictures and focusing on where you want to go, you can reinvent yourself.
Twelve months from now, you could be a hundred percent different version of yourself. It’s simple, every three days if you grew by 1% you would be a hundred percent different version of yourself in less than a year. Of course, you can change, people do it all the time. You have to stop telling yourself you can’t change because that is what is stopping you.
If someone is intentional with who they want to be, their goals and their values, then doing the appropriate things will automatically flow from their mindset. Letting go of things that don’t serve you will help you be who you want to be. By focusing on being who you want to be, all the skills and knowledge you need will follow from that. But, if you’re so cluttered and if your mindset is crammed with things you’re hanging onto, how are you ever going to create space to be the person that you want to be.
Don’t overthink. It’s time for a physical and a mental purge. I did it a few years ago, and I continued to do because it feels good to let go and move forward.